Rambles of Life

College...such a strange experience. It's weird to think that this one thing can basically decide your life. It's full of some of the best experiences...and then some of the worst. So much joy...and then so much stress. It's crazy! People can be so incredibly amazing. While others are, well...interesting.

Speaking of interesting people at college...I LOVE to "people watch". One of my favorite things is to go to the mall and sit down on a bench and just watch everyone. But I've learned of an even better place to do that--college. Pretty much any location of campus is full of interesting people. The library. The Cougareat (cafeteria). The bookstore. Brigham Square. And most definitely the Clyde building (engineer majors) and the HFAC (music majors). Those are some UNIQUE people to say the least. Instead of describing them to you myself, just go experience it for yourself. It's free entertainment.

I'm so ridiculous though. I always think other people are so weird...and rarely ever think that I'm most likely the weirder one, except for this one time. I was driving home from work, which is out in Murray, near Salt Lake City. I was driving during rush hour (which totally sucks) and some people were doing some awfully strange things. I don't even remember exactly what, but I was talking out-loud to myself saying, "humans are so strange. I don't even know why they do some things or what they are thinking."

A few minutes later, I was thinking about the experience and thought to myself, "That was EXTREMELY weird." Here I am, saying that other people (or rather humans...which is even more strange) are weird when I am in my car, alone, talking out loud to myself. It has since made me think twice about thinking people are strange because I am among the most psychotic at times.

Now back to college. Even though I am growing up and learning so many things spiritually and academically, I kind of can't wait to be done. At least be done with this year. I live everyday stressed that I will not get good enough grades to get into the accounting program here. Even though I say I have a back-up plan, I don't want to use it. I want things to work out how I am trying to plan them. I don't want to waste all this effort to go wasted. It is SO frustrating! And I will seriously feel like the biggest failure if I don't get in.

Also, what is with this horrible pressure for marriage? It's like the ONLY reason for going on dates is either you want to marry that person or you want to get some action...which I want neither. But can't people go on dates just for a fun activity to get to know someone? Asking someone on a date does not equal a marriage proposal! People need to just relax. It's ridiculous.

I'm not begging for dates or anything. I just think it is funny how people don't date much around here unless they plan on marrying that person. Not ALL people...just most. It's the common BYU mentality "speaking as a completely third party objective with absolutely no personal interest in the matter..." ***

Good news: I got a letter from Braden Lee Batchelor! He is doing fantastic! He is now the Ghana MTC arm wrestling champion! I'm so proud! He has been learning so much and having a great time doing it. He loves and is loved by all the missionaries he has been around. He left the MTC today and officially entered the field of the Ghana, Accra mission. I cannot wait to hear the stories and experiences he will have.

I love letters from missionaries, because I feel like I learn so much and that my testimony grows stronger just by reading what they are going through. This gospel is so incredible and is such a great blessing in my life. I am so grateful to have it and I am grateful that we have missionaries whose sole purpose is to share this great blessing to the rest of the world so others can experience the great happiness it brings. Every day I learn a new thing and strive to become better each day. I hope I can be an example for those around me to be better.

This reminds me...I was watching this show on the discovery channel about the drug methanphedamine and how destructive it is. It said that of all the first time users of this drug, 95 % can't help but to use it again. It is the most addictive, destructive and now most popular drug today.

When watching this small portion, I got really afraid to become a mom. I know that is kind of far ahead for me, but still...I am horrified to bring children into a world like this. And the world is only getting worse. I don't want my children to get stuck in those kind of traps. I want them to have a joyful, happy, enriching life. It's frightening to think that my job is to teach them that things like that are not good and to help them steer clear of it. But what if I mess up? Those are real, human lives at stake.

Even though it scares me to death to think of things like that, I am still so excited and honored to have the role of raising children. When the time comes, I will love it (good and bad times) and do my best to raise them to be righteous, intelligent people of society who will strive to bring joy into all the lives of those around you.

I am so rambling, but have you ever though about that? I've started thinking about it a little lately. It's become a goal of mine. It's difficult, but I am trying to be genuinely nice to everyone. Even the person at the cash register at the store. Instead of basically ignoring them, I want to smile at them and ask how THEIR day has been. I want them to get the feeling that I think and KNOW they are important. It's a very difficult task, and will take my whole life to accomplish, but I want to do it. I feel like if everyone made an effort to take a few seconds out of their schedule to smile and say hi and ask people how they are doing and actually listen, then this world we be a lot more joyful.

Though I may never know the impact I made in someone's life, I still want to make that impact. I want to at least help one person feel better about themselves or help turn their bad day into a good day. A day with at least one good thing in it, is not a completely bad day, right?

To sum up my goal in one phrase: Forget myself and serve others.

Sorry to totally ramble, but it's my blog, therefore my thoughts. You aren't required to read it. If I knew you were required to read it, I probably would have made it much shorter. But you aren't, so tough love.

P.S. I wish BYU gave us Veteran's Day off like everyone else! No fair!